I had to escape my country when they found out I was gay - Lucas's story

Lucas had to escape his home country, Namibia, because his family didn’t accept him for being gay. For safety, he kept his relationship private and confidential, but there were always people on the lookout.

I had to flee because people were looking for me. They wanted to kill me. That was my uncle, the police and a family member of the person I was involved with. They wanted to end my life because they found out about our relationship. It doesn’t matter how safe you want to be, you will never be safe.”

Lucas’s life in Namibia wasn’t easy, but his grandmother loved and protected him. She was the person he was hiding behind. When she passed, it was the biggest challenge of his life. Without her protection and kindness, his life became more unsafe – he was the target of many attacks, including sexual violence at the hands of the police. 

Lucas is grateful that he was able to escape, as many LGBTQ+ people continue to struggle in Namibia. Many are killed. Yet when he arrived in the UK, he still wasn’t safe. He stayed in a hotel where men tried to sexually assault him on two separate occasions. He informed the Home Office of his situation, and thankfully he was finally moved to temporary accommodation. He has been housed alone for his safety ever since. 

Because of what Lucas experienced in both Namibia and in the UK, he felt very vulnerable and fearful. He didn’t want to go out or meet people. He wanted to take his life. Lucas started receiving therapy at Freedom from Torture, but it was hard for him. He couldn’t sleep most nights.

His therapists guided him through the difficulties and advised him day by day. He prayed a lot too, as his grandmother had taught him to do when life becomes difficult.

I told myself I have to push myself to do the best I can and become the best person I can be, because I only have myself.

Without support giving him access to therapy, Lucas knows he wouldn’t be in this world any more. 

“I would have lost myself. Now I feel stronger, I feel a sense of belief in myself. I can stand up for myself. I still struggle a bit with self-blame and triggers. But I can take myself out of uncomfortable situations.”

There are 65 countries where being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is still criminalised. Your support helps survivors like Lucas find strength again after being persecuted, simply for who they are.

Please note, Lucas's name has been changed, and a model is used in the photograph to protect his identity.