Existing, not living
Forough is the latest author in our 'Poverty Barrier' Expert Blog Series. Forced to leave her home five years ago after her husband was tortured, she left behind her well-furnished home, her family and friends, and her job as a paramedic.
When I was leaving Iran in 2008, I didn't expect my life to turn out like this and I wasn't absolutely sure where I was going. Eventually, I arrived in the UK after many months, having experienced wretchedness and tribulation passing through several countries – Turkey, Croatia, Slovenia, Italy and then France.
I wanted to learn the English language so that I could work as a volunteer with St John's Ambulance. I was a qualified paramedic after all and I wanted to use my skills. However, they rejected my application because of my status.
As soon as we entered the UK, we claimed asylum. I decided to register at college and start from zero. My husband could not do anything because of his torture.I wanted to learn the English language so that I could work as a volunteer with St John's Ambulance. I was a qualified paramedic after all and I wanted to use my skills. However, they rejected my application because of my status – I was unable to get a national insurance number or get CRB checked (a check some organisations have to carry out when working with certain groups of people).I made a decision to continue my studies and go to university to gain a degree qualification. I completed all necessary courses – such as English level 2, Maths level 2, IT level 2 – and I also have finished my access to Higher Education course with a distinction grade.
I decided to register at college and start from zero. My husband could not do anything because of his torture.
I did all my best, worked hard and finally obtained two offers from the London South Bank University and West London University to study Psychology. I thought that if I understand Psychology then I can help my husband to overcome the past and maybe we could learn to talk again. But I am not able to continue my studies because of my asylum status.
Now, after five years and having spent a lot time in college it seems I am not allowed to study, to work and to live in this country. I feel like I am in the middle – I don't have my feet on the floor nor can I fly and go.
Even though I don't feel that I am living in a democratic country the second article of human rights says Don't Discriminate - it means these rights belong to everybody, whatever our differences. Regardless, I don't have right to apply for student finance because I am an asylum seeker; I can't go to university because I am an asylum seeker; I don't have right to work because I am an asylum seeker; I don't have a national insurance number because I am an asylum seeker; and I don't have right to make a decision for my own life because I am an asylum seeker. My life is controlled by the Home office because I am an asylum seeker.
Now, after five years and having spent a lot time in college it seems I am not allowed to study, to work and to live in this country. I feel like I am in the middle.
Being an asylum seeker in this country means that I am not human, I feel like I don't have any rights. I must accept my situation as it is without any comment. I don't feel I exist in this country.
