Iranian Survivor poem - Calm Yourself Down

As conflict in Iran continues, Iranian survivor and member of Write to Life network Shahab reflects and writes a poem to best express his complex emotions.

Calm Yourself Down

Calm yourself down
I swear to God,
the bad feelings,
they won’t last.

These bitter dark days,
alongside your doubts,
they won’t last.

Thousands of springs
in a basket of delicate love!
To be with me  
a moment longer.
It won't last!

Now here I am
in my own 
headquarters
reviewing the years and years of
my torturer’s  
flirtations.
It won't last.

In this corner,
no one is here to shout for you
my darling,  
and even that shout,
it won’t last.

My delightful mania  
is interrupted
by the embrace of my cat,
bad feelings which  
won’t last.

Let me tear out my grief.
I'm in no mood  
to tell the whole story,
this sorrow-caressing taste,
it won’t last

To enjoy being human
in this one reality,
even to have power,
to have enthusiasm
for the truth,
it won't last.

I want to rip myself apart
piece by piece,
another mother at her son’s grave
soil to soil, earth to earth
under the cold layers.
This marshland
under the tread of Zahhak,
I swear,
It won’t last.